[...]
in the absence of love
and among bread and fruit juices and local Swiss cheese
in the desolated airport hotel of Lugano
i sit for breakfast and by my side a couple
they sip coffee, they eat sweet jam
they look at each other,
she looks for anything other than fear
he looks for something respectable to cling to
those could be the ones that spent the earlier hours
of the year shouting at each other
her being accused in German,
him feeling entitled
but they have stated ducento e qualcosa
when the waitress came to ask for their credential number
which is not the room beside our 409
where we ended up after 3 hours and a half
of vagaries around Lugano
looking for shelter in the greed
of italianized
the waitress, sedated or really a breakfast robot
is the one who greets the couple auguri
when they stand up in their silence to go away
they don’t reply
they augur very little right now
to anyone
but Nietzsche once greeted a year
perhaps by this very alp
with a resolution of amor fati:
let my ‘no’ be no more than my gaze
moving away
and I try to move away my eyes
and find a bowl of syrupy pears
lying on the table
sugar, a genteel anesthetic
when one is feeling too much
i grab a piece and soon move to pick out another
you are not here to keep me off sugar
i give up the second piece
to write instead about the first
and soon i’m moved away
from the breakfast room
only to notice the light outside
the sun moving its gaze
away from what could deserve a ‘no’
from what could deserve ‘yes’
a lesson hidden in plain sight.
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